Now wipe that condescending scowl off of your face that says, “Too much information!”.  Stick with me here and I think you will have a whole new appreciation of your underwear drawer – especially if you’re a mom!  Today I asked myself at what point in my life as a mother/wife did I lose all privacy and possessions?  I fight the privacy battle every single day – no matter where I go there is always a child, a dog, a husband, or all of the above on my heels.  Some days I ignore it better than others.  But today it dawned on me that I really have no possessions anymore either…

Some of my naturally unruly curly hair went straight today (due to my constant stress induced running of my fingers through the top of my hair), so I went looking for my curling iron to do some damage control.  I would like to say I was shocked it wasn’t where it belonged, but that would be a lie.  Having a daughter who thinks she’s already a teenager, I knew to look in her bathroom first.  I didn’t find my curling iron BUT I did find my hair dryer, flat iron, hairspray, favorite lip gloss, perfume, lotion, and even my anit-wrinkle night cream!  What does an 11 year old need with my night cream?!

Next I went looking in the guest bathroom. No curling iron there either, but I found my hair clips that keep walking away.  What about the boys’ bathroom? No curling iron but one of my screw drivers.  Art’s bathroom had 3 pairs of finger nail clippers to offer – which is funny considering I’ve been asking almost daily where all the fingernail clippers disappeared to.  I looked in my closet with no avail, but did notice the gaping open section on one shelf where one of my Vera Bradley overnight bags used to reside.  As a last ditch effort, I looked in Art’s closet – stranger things have been found in even more odd places so it was worth a try.  No luck there either, but I did find my Purdue hoodie.

I am convinced that my belongings make up the Salvation Army of the household. Cheyenne needs some sort of beauty item – go take mine. The boys need some belts to use as reins on the chairs they turn into horses – go take mine. Art loses a button off of his police uniform or can’t find a keeper for his duty belt – go take one of mine. Dogs need a shoe to chew on – please help yourself to one of mine.

My curling iron is officially MIA, which doesn’t really matter now since I have pulled on my hair so much it’s now a straightened ball of fuzz.  I finally sat down exasperated at the mobility of my possessions.  Is nothing sacred any more? Ah yes, there is one thing that I can always find exactly the way I left it in the exact same place it always is…my underwear drawer.  At least I know that there are a few possessions of mine that no one else will need or want – and quite frankly, if they ever do then I don’t want to know NOR do I want them back! I’m not sure if I should laugh or cry at this revelation. Oh well.

Now where is my other oven mitt…